Monday, February 8, 2016

Cassie's Story - Letters To Myself

Hasn't Monday come fast! So much is happening here, and happening for Cassie too. Here she is, surfacing from last time:





The world disappeared, my focus narrowed to include only Matt and the way he was making me feel. I gave up all pretense of thinking and just went with the flow.

As seemed to be the norm with us, it was a creature that shook us back to reality. Barney, bored with waiting, bashed his head against the back of my knees. Already pretty shaky on my legs (what can I say? Matt has power) this was all it took for me to lose my balance. The kiss was broken as I slipped. It was only because Matt already had a close (very, very close) hold of me that I didn’t fall.

“Whoa, are you ok?”

I pushed back my hair. “Yes, Barney got impatient.”

I looked around, belatedly recognizing that we were standing at my front gate, locked together like two lovers. Well we had just been kissing like two lovers. Well maybe that was where this was headed. I blushed at my own wayward thoughts, but fortunately this went unnoticed by Matt since the street lighting was dim enough to hide it.  

He ran his hand through his hair. “Probably a good thing he did that. I forgot we are out in the street.”

“So did I.” I paused, feeling awkward and shy. Matt ran a finger down my cheek and I sighed at the touch.

 “Do you want to come in?” I couldn’t believe I had said it, but the words were out and no retracting them.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Was I? This was my moment of truth. I swallowed, my throat dry.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Then yes, I would like to come in.”

I swallowed again, fumbled with opening the gate so that Matt had to help me. Once it was open I led the way with dignity intact. Well that’s what I planned. What happened was that Barney pushed past me and in the process knocked me into Matt, who caught me and half carried me through, stifling what sounded suspiciously like a laugh in the process.

Once through the gate I straightened, and led the way to the front door. There, I stood staring at it.

“Cassie? Are we going in?”

I sighed. “My key is at your house, with my phone, in your lounge room.”

“We sure are a prepared pair.”

Matt touched his forehead to mine, chuckling softly. I smiled in response.

“That’s me, always ready to party.”

At my words his chuckle grew into a proper laugh, a beguiling sound that made me laugh too. I thought of the sight we must make, standing at my front door, laughing like a pair of idiots.

“Oh my goodness, what a night. I bet you want me now.”

Matt sobered. “You have no idea.”

His words sent a thrill through me, not of fear but of what I identified, with just a touch of anxiety, as longing. Was I really ready for this?

Words failed me, I just stared at him. Matt smiled, leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. It was a gentle touch of lips on skin, but it made my heart sing.

“I guess we’d better go back to mine then.”

As he spoke Matt stretched out a hand to me in invitation. I placed my hand in his, allowing him to lead me back to his house. Barney, initially piqued that he wasn’t after all going to visit Pebbles and BamBam, quickly recovered and bounced along happily. This was a wonderful adventure for him. Maybe it was for me too.

Back at Matt’s house I sat on the lounge, feeling again awkward and shy. Matt poured us both a glass of the red wine. Handing me my glass he sat down beside me. I took a nervous sip, wondering what to say.

“Cassie.”

I peeked sideways, hiding behind my fringe.

Leaning forward Matt put his wineglass on the coffee table. Taking mine from my unresisting hand he placed it beside his. Then he took both my hands in both of his.

“Cassie, this isn’t a test, or a schedule. We don’t have to end up in the bedroom - although to be honest I will be very happy if we do. But we have all the time in the world. I’m not going to rush you, or force you, or try to coerce you. I am so happy, you cannot know how happy I am to know that you want me in a romantic sense.” He paused, frowned in irritation. “God, I sound like a soap opera. You know what I mean though Cassie don’t you?”

I did know what he meant, and with that knowledge all of my anxiety vanished. This was where I belonged, with Matt. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, before disengaging my hands and picking up my wine glass again. I sipped, the wine slid smoothly over my tongue, leaving behind a fruity taste that was a touch smoky. A good choice.

Matt raised one eyebrow, his expression that professional blank one he was so good at wearing. I smiled at him as seductively as I could. The result was not Matt kissing me senseless, something that admittedly would have been difficult without spilling the excellent wine. I must have forgotten how to smile seductively since his blank expression was still firmly in place.

Taking my courage in both hands (and a healthy swig of wine), I put the glass back on the coffee table. Matt didn’t move. I slid closer to him on the lounge. He still didn’t move. I put both my hands on either side of his face. He sat, still as a statue. Sighing, I leaned closer, until my breasts brushed against his chest. Nothing. I frowned, was I that rusty?

Then I noticed his quickened breathing, the intensity of his chocolate brown eyes, and I understood. He had promised not to rush, force, or coerce me. This was his way of making sure he kept his word. This man was never going to be like Nathan in any way.

Sliding one hand down to cover his (wildly beating) heart I caressed his cheek with the other. Then I leaned in close and kissed him with everything I had. Matt groaned under my lips, his arms came around me and crushed me close and he took over the kiss. Then, dear reader, I was kissed senseless, kissed until I no longer knew where I stopped and he started, kissed until…well you can fill in the blanks.

The sun shining on my face woke me the next morning. I turned my head and saw Matt watching me. Overwhelmed with shyness I pulled the bedclothes under my chin. Matt grinned as he watched.

“You look adorable like that. Come here.”

He rolled onto his back, his arms wide, wearing nothing but a wicked grin. Oh my.

I did as I was told, and was rewarded with a scorching kiss that almost made me forget where I was.

Coming up for air, I checked my watch and groaned. “It’s already 7:00. I have to get back to the dogs, and I’m picking up Mark at 10:00.”

Matt rolled us over until he was poised above me. Grinning wickedly, he kissed me, slowly and thoroughly. Then he kept on rolling until he was standing beside the bed. I lay there, enjoying the view of a naked Matt.

“All that jogging has done wonders for you.”

Matt leered at me. “I told you I had a six pack to die for.”

I sat up, planted a kiss on his flat belly. Matt gasped a little and I smiled.

“You did, and you were not exaggerating.”

“Get up woman, I know you have to get back to let out the dogs before they destroy your place. I’ll make us breakfast and bring it to yours, ok?”

Could anyone be more perfect? Reeling in such sappy thoughts I nodded my agreement. Matt swaggered to the door and I watched him go, a sappy grin on my face to match those sappy thoughts.

As soon as he had gone I jumped out of the bed and dressed quickly. Ridiculous as it might be after the night we had just spent I still felt too shy to be naked in front of him. I was delighted that he had no such qualms.

As I went into the kitchen I checked that I had everything I came with, except the wine. Matt was watching me, grinning.

“Got everything this time?”

I smiled in response. “Yes, I have. I have to dash, those dogs will be desperate to go out.”

Matt came over to me, pulled me into his arms and kissed me again.

“I’ll shower and be there with breakfast.” He paused. “That’s ok with you isn’t it?”

This new level of our relationship was going to take a bit of getting used to for both of us.

“Yes of course. I’m starving.”

Grin back in place Matt grinned. “We used a lot of energy last night, and that was before we, er, used energy.”

I blushed. “See you soon,” I managed, and I bolted.

I almost skipped down the path to my house. I felt so light, I couldn’t remember when I had felt this happy. I stopped in my tracks. That was how I felt, happy. I hugged myself, I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so happy and it was wonderful.

Continuing down the footpath my steps slowed, became heavier. Why was Nathan’s car sitting outside my house?
 


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