Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Cassie's story - Letters To Myself

It’s Monday, and it’s an almost calamity Monday for me. I updated my phone last night and something went wrong, and my phone crashed. All attempts to recover it through iTunes failed repeatedly so that I was kicking myself for putting my whole life into one electronic device. This was ios 9.0.2 if you’re wondering. The update didn’t fully install and then iTunes couldn’t download it so it was close to a disaster. I ended up using gamer son’s computer to install the update and recover my phone. I have got to have a backup backup for when backup fails.

And now it’s Tuesday, sorry guys. The intention was there but then life got in the way. But here is Cassie, home from the hospital, although still a bit shaky.

“Tea?”

I accepted the cup proffered by Mark, smiling into his worried face. “Thank you, that’s just what I need.”

He huffed out a breath in relief before sitting in the lounge chair closest to me, still looking worried.

Matt came in as I was sipping the tea gratefully. The hospital had looked after me well for the few days I was there, but the tea was always lukewarm and tasteless.

“Right, Pebbles and BamBam are fed, and there is a casserole in the fridge which I’ll put in the oven for your dinner.”

I blinked at him. “A casserole? Where did that come from?”

“Saffron made it, and there are offerings from her and Bev in the freezer too.”

“Oh gosh, Saffron shouldn’t be making food for me, she’s doing enough handling the coffee run on her own. And Bev is not well enough to be cooking. I’ll be fine by tomorrow anyway now I’m home.”

Matt came and sat on the lounge beside me. “No you won’t, you’re supposed to be resting for the rest of the week and we are going to make sure you do. Head injuries have to be treated with respect. Saffron was happy to do something to make up for the way the night ended, and Bev told me she feels so much better these days.” He held up a hand as I opened my mouth. “I know, she’s lying through her teeth. But, I do believe that cooking for you has given her a lot of pleasure and that’s more important than your pride isn’t it?”

I closed my mouth again, since he was right as he annoyingly was most of the time. Instead I shrugged. “Well Saffron does have some making up to do, in fact she should be sucking up to me big time. If it weren’t for her we would not have been there so late.” I ignored the little voice inside that reminded me that I had in the end been a willing participant to the shenanigans – well apart from the hit on the head concussion part. I had woken the next day in hospital with a dry throat, roiling stomach and splitting headache which could only partly be attributed to the concussion.

“That she does, I had a word to her about involving you in her attempts to distract herself from her own problems.”

I felt my mouth drop open and my eyes begin to bug out. Mark, taking in my expression, remembered some homework that needed to be done and vanished. I never used to allow my expression to change from pleasant and cheerful, at least not around Nathan, but these days I had learnt to allow my face to mirror my emotions. I had also learned that it was ok to express my emotions. I set about expressing.

“You did what? What do you mean distracting herself from her problems and how is it your business to talk to her about involving me? When did you become my keeper?”

Matt gave me a level look, a very long level look. I thought back to the times he had rescued me from certain situations with Nathan and felt a touch of embarrassment. But still, this was different, this was a night out with my best friend.

“It was just a night out, and if that girl hadn’t smacked me in the head I wouldn’t have ended up in hospital.”

Matt inclined his head, but he was still wearing his serious policeman face. “Nonetheless it was irresponsible of her to involve you in this.”

“But I wanted to be involved, I wanted to go out with her, I wanted to be foolish and silly and carefree. What’s so bad about that?”

“Nothing, except that you and I both know Saffron has problems she is trying to avoid. And you are testing yourself, doing things you couldn’t do before because of the repercussions. So the two of you together is a recipe for disaster.”

I could feel the heat under my skin, and the nagging headache that hadn’t properly subsided sent a few stabs into my brain to remind me it was still there. “That’s not fair, I am a responsible person, you know that. Heavens, I was still there because I knew I shouldn’t leave Saffron alone. I mean, I was having fun but I was mostly looking after Saffron.” I paused, before admitting, “I may have drunk a teensy bit too much.”

Matt gave me an old fashioned look. “You think?”

I huffed a bit, I didn’t really have a leg to stand on in this aspect of the argument, but he only saw me after the girl had hit me. “How would you know? I was concussed, of course I was not at my best.”

“True, but you had put on your lipstick with your eyes shut I think. It gave an effect a bit like the joker.”

Oh please no. Had I tried to apply lipstick in the bathroom before all of the excitement? Surely I hadn’t done, for if I had it would indeed have been a disturbing look.

Matt grinned at the expression on my face. “Gotcha! No you weren’t wearing any lipstick. But the fact that you don’t remember, and looked worried at the possibility tells me you were very drunk.”

I shrugged. “I was concussed, it’s normal to lose parts of the events when you’re concussed.”

His eyes narrowed, Matt leaned towards me. “Have you lost parts of the night?”

I shook my head. “Sadly no, I remember everything.” I thought back to the drunken flailing of arms and legs that I had considered dancing. It was as uncoordinated as anything Saffron could produce. Had I made a fool of myself in any other way? I didn’t think so, but then when you’re drunk you tend to think you are being normal when of course you are not.

“Is this something you and Saffron used to do a lot?”

I shook my head, wincing a little as the movement started a hammer inside my head. “No, we went out occasionally for dinner. Nathan never minded that, I wonder why?”

“Did you get drunk?”

“No, not really, although sometimes when I hadn’t eaten all day I did get a bit squiffy.”

Matt smiled at my choice of words. “Did that make you, er, friendly when you got home?”

“Oh, yes I guess it did.” That was why Nathan didn’t mind me going out with Saffron, I came back tipsy and he got the kind of sex he preferred. Thinking of Nathan made a bit of darkness slide into the room so I shook off the thoughts.

“Saffron and I hadn’t met before I married Nathan, so she has not met the wild and free me.”

Matt gave me a smile that bordered on a leer. “I wish I’d met the wild and free you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Make up your mind Matt! One minute I’m getting a lecture on responsibility and the next you’re leering at the thought of a wild and free me.”

Leaning forward Matt came right into my comfort zone and kept on coming, until his lips met my forehead in a gentle kiss. “If I had met you first Nathan would not have stood a chance.”

He stood up, smiling at my shock. “I’d better head off, I’ll put the casserole in the oven for you on my way out. Let Mark get your dinner, he knows how and he’s keen to help. He’s been worried about you too. I’ll be back in the morning to take the dogs out and get you breakfast. Don’t even think of trying to do it before I get here.”


So saying he left without looking back. Good thing really since I was sitting staring at him with what was bound to be an unflattering stunned fish kind of expression.





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