An explanation you may not have wanted

Day nine: well yesterday was a bit of a pity party wasn’t it? Apologies for that, since I promised myself that I would only allow positive feelings. I do have options, just that all but one come with difficulties, so that I can’t decide which one will be the best. So, for now, I’m leaving things as they are, letting the balls fall where they may and focusing on what I can do.

What can I do? I can promote this book in as many ways as I can think of, to get it seen by as many people as I can so that word of mouth will do the rest. This is an important book, not just because it will save my life financially but also because it has a message. I know the book 50 Shades of Grey was just fiction, and fan fiction at that. But it sold millions of copies and millions of women seem to believe that Christian Grey is the ideal man. Of course he is not. He is an abusive, controlling man. He is a man who stalked that girl and used her innocence for his own ends. A relationship like theirs is co-dependent, toxic - not an equal, loving and trusting relationship.

I know that in the book and the movie the love of a good woman changed Christian and made him the ideal man – but in real life that does not happen. In real life the good woman is used and exploited and suffers. In real life the good woman becomes a shadow of who she once was. People do not change, not that easily. So I wrote Letters to Myself from the perspective of a woman trapped in an abusive co-dependent relationship. It’s not rainbows and unicorns, it’s misery and confusion.

It’s also complicated. Although it appears to the outsider to be straightforward – leave – to the person involved it’s not that simple. There are so many emotions that have to be worked through; love, fear, anxiety to name a few. If there are children there is another complication. I wrote the book to show one woman’s journey, a perspective from inside a co-dependent relationship, to try to help make it better understood. I also hope that people in a similar situation will recognize aspects of themselves and gain strength knowing they are not alone. It doesn’t need to be physically abusive to be soul destroying.

I also wrote the book to show that no matter how impossible the situation may seem, there is always a way out. Difficult it may be, almost certainly will be, but the way out and the way forward can be found. It takes strength and determination and above all it takes help. Help from friends, help from professionals such as a good counselor. Cassie, the main protagonist, has a great counselor, and a couple of good friends. There is no shame in asking for help. Abuse is abuse, whether it be physical, emotional, verbal or a bit of everything.

Well I’ve made the book sound like a bundle of laughs haven’t I? It’s a bit dark and confronting at times, especially at the beginning, but as Cassie begins to find herself, once she starts to write her letters, the tone of the book lifts. It’s the story of one woman’s path back to who she really is.

This is not the blog I set out to write – lucky I’ll be back tomorrow with another post. Promise I’ll find something light and entertaining tomorrow! I know it’s a bit naughty of me to give you the link again, but the book is now free for three days and I’d love you to take a look at it.

Letters to Myself 

Ok I promise not to give you this link again, and I'll stop with the rabbiting on about it. You can go take a look while it's free or not, it's entirely up to you. 

Tomorrow I'm going to find a random topic and see how I go at talking about it. Thanks for sticking with me through this blog post.