This means two things - 1) a shortage of time and 2) a mind that is stuffed full of words so that I find it difficult to focus. Because I also have not been able to write and that has had the usual effect on my brain. I was becoming rather stressed about that, and about the issues in my personal life. Then I remembered words somebody said to me many years ago. At the time it was after I had a fight with a boyfriend and I was upset. A woman I knew said I should think about it this way - will it matter in 5 years time? If it will, do something to make it right, if it doesn't, let it go.
At the time, I applied it to the fight - it wasn't going to matter in 5 years so I let it go and felt so much better that I have never forgotten those words. Over the years I have applied this to many situations and it is surprising how much clarity it gives me. But I forgot to apply it to my current situation until yesterday.
When I did, I had a rather surprising result. Since my entire life is in a state of flux, I can't say that anything I am currently worried about will have any bearing on my life in 5 years. Everything single thing that I am currently losing sleep over can be put into the file labelled Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, because it really won't matter in 5 years time. Even the big issues, in 5 years will for sure be sorted out. So losing sleep over where I am to live, where I will work, if my new book will sell, if I will ever find the time to finish it since my timeline for that has not been achieved is a pointless activity.
Worrying is always a pointless activity, it achieves nothing and wears a person down so much that there is a real risk of becoming ill. Constructive worrying, where solutions to problems are found is not the same thing - I call it constructive worrying because I am still stressed but I am actively searching for solutions.
But in my current situation, worrying or constructive worrying is not really going to achieve anything. I have to take each day as it comes, do the best I can and have faith that it will all work out in the end. I'm kind of a pessimistic optimist. I worry, stress and freak out, but there is always that tiny core of optimism that is struggling to get out and tell me it will be ok. That's why I try to be positive and have only positive thoughts, that little bubble of optimism says it's important to attract only positive energy. Now, applying the 5 year rule, I realise that worrying is not only pointless but not even necessary.
I have no idea where I will be in 5 years, I have no idea what I will be doing with my life. But everything I am currently stressed about will not matter then. So why stress about it now? This is freeing, I feel much lighter and I am sure I will sleep better. I have been trying to apply my rule of positive thinking but of course at 2am that's always very difficult to do. Those monsters always look more frightening at that hour of the morning. However, the 5 year rule makes worrying unnecessary, in fact even in 6 months all this worry will be a wasted effort.
So I won't worry any more, I will accept that control freak me actually can't control anything right now. All I can do is roll with it, make what plans I can, and have faith that I will end up in the right place doing the right thing for me. And not sweat the small stuff. And right now, in a very real way, even the big stuff is small stuff because everything in my life is changing.
Identify your small stuff, and be prepared to be surprised, for in 5 years time, even the big stuff now will be small stuff then. Of course sometimes the big stuff now has to be sorted to make it small stuff in the future. But always remember to use the 5 year rule because it helps to identify what really needs to be dealt with and what truly does not matter.
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