Words revisited

Words are wonderful things, I love them. I love to play with them, arrange them, learn new ones. Words can be used to explain, to abuse, to cajole, to compliment, to praise. There are so many ways in which words can be used, and misused.
However words are in the end only a tool, and tools are only as good as the person using them. There is more to this though, the effect of words is not the same for each reader.

We all have a unique view of the world, an attitude and mindset and understanding that is shaped by our personalities, experiences and environment. A story that I will find captivating and magical may be considered by someone else to be slow and dull. That is something that I have to keep in mind at all times. No matter how much I adore my offspring - my writing - it will not be appreciated the same way by readers. Some will like it, some will hate it and some will be quite neutral. And that's ok, the world would be a very dull place if we were all the same.

To be sure that I am getting across to readers exactly what I mean I have to be careful in my choice of words. If I choose words that are too ambiguous I may completely change the meaning of what I say and then the whole thing will become confusing for readers. Painting a picture with words requires the use of a sharp and precise verbal brush. But still I will not be completely clear to all readers all the time. However I have the luxury of time and the backspace key - or sometimes highlight/delete. I can read what I said and think oops, and re-write as often as I need to make my meaning clear.

Conversations are not the same. Conversations are quite disturbingly live. There is no backspace button, no chance to say wait, I need to re-write that. Of course I can say no, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Unfortunately what is said cannot be unsaid and people remember the first statement regardless of whether that is what was meant. Add to that the interpretation that each of us puts onto what is said is also varied. What I say and what you hear may not be the same. You will put your own spin on my words depending on your personality, experience and environment (as I know I said earlier but I'm emphasising an important point).

So misunderstandings arise in conversations regularly. It is important to remember that what you think you heard may not be what was meant, especially if what you heard has upset you or disturbed you. Face to face conversations are easier, we all read body language, tone of voice and facial expressions to more clearly interpret what was meant by the words falling so carelessly from the mouth. But in this digital age more and more conversations occur either by text or voice calls.

There is no body language to interpret and in the case of social media chat, no tone of voice either. We must rely entirely on the words used. That is why those emoticons have become so popular. They are a kind of digital body language. A smiley face at the end of a sentence lifts it, gives it a little ding of sunshine (or maybe it is just me who hears that little ding when I see a smiley face). All those little emoticons help to make a sometimes clunky language more easily interpreted.

But no matter how carefully I choose words, still not everyone will clearly understand what I say. No matter how closely people observe body language misunderstandings arise in a face to face conversation. It only takes a few words meant to say one thing and interpreted to mean another to derail a social media chat and before you know it things are escalating in a most unwelcome direction!

We are all human, we all fail to understand the meaning behind the words at some time or other. We all get emotional over things that turn out to be imagined.  We just need to remember this and be patient with each other. Next time you think someone has said something hurtful to you, unless it is clear and unambiguous (like perhaps you good sir are a most unpleasant toad and I wish to never lay eyes on you again) put aside your pride and ask a few questions. There is nothing to lose, and sometimes a lot to gain.

Sometimes the blue sky is hidden by grey clouds of misunderstanding, but it's still there :)